The meatball state of Egypt

Given the state of absurdity and farce experienced by Egypt at the moment, we should expect the unexpected; absolutely everything goes, no matter how illogical. We shouldn’t even laugh or poke fun at what is happening in our beloved Egypt, which has now become Al-Sisi’s Egypt, an Egypt full of absurdity, mockery and scandals.

The most recent mockery came in the form of Al-Sisi’s army’s announcement of achieving a “scientific breakthrough”, as it discovered a device that cures AIDS, hepatitis, swine flu and diabetes in 18 hours.

The head of the Armed Forces, who discovered this amazing device, announced, in a televised ceremony broadcasted on Egyptian TV and attended by the appointed president (the clown) and Field Marshal Abdel Fattah Al-Sisi, that “this ingenious device can detect and diagnose hepatitis and AIDS remotely, without any need to take a blood sample from the patient.

“The patient could be in another room, separated by a wall from the device and it can still detect the disease and remove the disease from the patient, then return it to the patient in the form of a meatball!”

Dear readers please do not laugh. The situation in Egypt has actually become like a meatball. Formed by an ignorant or oblivious cook who knows nothing about the art of cooking other than stealing utensils, ingredients and the best kitchens and then serving up a shapeless, odourless and tasteless dough that is shoved down the people’s throats.

This state makes its meatballs by grinding the skulls and bones of martyrs and binding them with their pure blood after the brutal coup. Yesterday alone, 1,000 year sentences were issued to students in the city of Alexandria who rejected the constitution and said “no” to the referendum.

A few days ago, the security forces stormed Dahab’s house while she celebrated the birth of her daughter Horeya (Freedom). This mother, Dahab, who was arrested while nine months pregnant and gave birth while her hands were shackled to her bed, was threatened and her husband was tortured to prevent them from naming their daughter Horeya.

This is the meatball state, cooked up by a lying, deceitful traitor who only understands the language of oppression and abuse and only knows how to steal and loot.

Egyptian citizens today live in fear and terror, afraid their personal calls are being recorded, as the security forces are chasing all activists and anyone with a free opinion. Even ordinary people’s personal views posted on Facebook bring them trouble, as their pages are monitored.

The security forces have returned to intervening in every aspect of life in Egypt; perhaps they are only treating the Egyptian people in order to interfere with their lives. Why not? In a ceremony held at the Interior Ministry, one of Al-Azhar’s “honourable” said that the defence and interior ministers, Abdel Fattah Al-Sisi and Mohamed Ibrahim were two prophets sent from God to Egypt, just as he sent Moses and Aaron, peace be upon them.

Haven’t I told you that we are living in a state of comic absurdity and nonsense never before seen in Egypt’s long, 7,000 year history?

It is the republic of Al-Sisi’s meatballs. One of its creators, the UAE, wants to chew it, while Saudi Arabia, the UAE’s cooking partner, wants to swallow it. That is why they named their man Ibrahim Mahlab as prime minister, but they will find out, sooner or later, that those meatballs have deadly poisons that will kill them.

God said in the Holy Qur’an: “The evil plot encompasses only him who makes it”, and they will soon reap the fruit of their plotting against the Egyptian people and the elected President Dr Mohamed Morsi. This is God’s promise and He keeps His promises.

The views expressed in this article belong to the author and do not necessarily reflect the editorial policy of Middle East Monitor.